The Stagcom 25th August Round Up

Uninsured bodyguard crashes boss's £1m car

Here's a lesson to all uninsured drivers who also happen to be bodyguards working for wealthy Chinese businesspeople. Don't crash their supercar into a fence. That's what Andy Danso did, while taking his boss's £1m Pagani Zonda back from its MOT. D'oh!

Danso's first story to the cops was that he was trying to avoid a silver vehicle. Then he changed his tale, claiming he'd been adjusting the seat while driving. Yeah right. Who wouldn't put their foot down if they had a chance to drive a car capable of doing over 200mph? At least the 43-year old bodyguard got to keep his job. Lucky chap.

Vettel's tyre malfunction gives Grosjean podium finish

In other vehicle-related news, a visibly angry Sebastian Vettel hinted Pirelli was to blame for his rear tyre blowout in Sunday's Belgian Grand Prix. Pirelli retorted by pointing out that pitting once in a high-speed race is likely to wear out your tyres - wear that caused Vettel's Ferrari to lose its podium spot as it retired from the course on three and a half wheels.

Lotus' Romain Grosjean was not sorry to see the tyre blow, as it gave him his first podium finish since 2013. The Frenchman finished a superb race in 3rd, behind the inevitable twofer of Hamilton and Rosberg. Talking of which, has anyone else noticed that Nico Rosberg is the spitting image of Eddie Thawne from The Flash?

Chelsea make £39m play for teenage striker

How much is a teenager worth? £39m, according to Jose Mourinho. The SW3 maestro reckons his Chelsea squad needs some strengthening of late, and he's looking to bring in young blood. Really young blood, actually. Monaco forward Anthony Martial is just 19, but if the Blues pull off their transfer coup he'll become the most expensive teenager ever to don a professional footie shirt. It's a funny old game, Brian.